To avoid the complete breakdown of society, as we know it, the Lizards have developed a set of rules and words of wisdom (not necessarily the same thing) to govern the Lizard clan. These rules have be developed over millions of years but have been adapted to modern Lizard living. Also, early rules such as, "Fire hot... burn Lizard" have been translated to a more modern reading, "Keep your hands out of the fire, you idiot!" with key expletive phrases added.

A complete set of rules and words of wisdom is under development, and as we remember them, but some of the biggies are listed below:

Life is tough, but its tougher if your dumb.

Never bring food to the woods that bears will not eat.

While teaching old dogs new tricks, be careful... they bite.

Keep your hands out of the fire, you idiot!

You can be lost and still enjoy yourself.

If you keep doing dumb things, expect dumb things to happen.

Leave early, before you're asked.

You don't need money if you have friends that do.

Style counts.

When dealing with mean people, smile a lot.

Don't do stupid things, even if told to.

There is a difference between urgent and important.

Never put sharp objects (i.e., butcher knife) in your clothing bags.

If you ignore rule #14 you can stop the bleeding with a clean paper towel and a rubber band to maintain the pressure.

If in doubt, don't.

The higher the Lizard climbs, the more you see of his behind.

If you're going to sleep in a parking lot, don't sleep where the buses park.

It is easier to get into something, than get out of it.

Life is way too complicated to figure out, so just pick out the parts you like.

It is better to be lucky than smart.

You don't know you are lost until you are.

Stupid actions are cumulative.

Make original mistakes... Don't repeat old ones.

Of course, Lizards have many other rules to help them through life's trials and along the trails, but we are always looking for yet more wisdom. If you have a wise word, please contact the Head Lizard.